It's been awhile since I've blogged (more than a year... what?!), so I figured it was about time to start up again. :) Lately, I've just noticed so many people in my life demanding or asking things of others and it's caught me off-guard. Please don't get me wrong--I am the first person to ask for help if I need it. I think that's a major societal flaw we've created in ourselves: Being too proud or too ashamed to ask for help with something. I think it is important to count on and rely on others because we certainly can't do everything alone.
But that's not exactly what I'm talking about. I'm talking about telling someone at work they "owe" you because you're doing a kind thing and covering their shift because they would like to study for a test or show some school spirit and go to a football game. I'm talking about telling your friends and significant others they need to make time for you specifically because you take time out of your schedule for them and "it's only fair." I'm talking about demanding someone do an assignment for you in the future because you just helped them with something for class they didn't understand.
Why does our kindness always have to be reciprocated? I admit, it's nice to have someone offer to cover my shift when I agree to cover theirs--but it's not necessary. Is appreciation not enough for us anymore? Do we always have to get something in return? This concept confuses me and doesn't make sense in my brain. I've always been the type of person to offer a place to stay, a hot meal, a listening ear, the shirt off my back--whatever you need--without expectations of reciprocation (thanks for raising me to be pretty selfless, Mom and Dad!). Along with that, however, I do not expect most people I interact with to be the same way. We're all unique and have strengths and weaknesses, and perhaps me give-give-giving without ever take-take-taking is MY weakness and why I often get treated like a doormat. But I would prefer to have people think of me with "she is a really caring, giving and reliable person" as opposed to "she does have all those qualities, but... only when she gets something in return." I want to be remembered as a beautiful person--compassionate, positive, enthusiastic and happy (please reference picture below) and I think that would be hard to do with constantly feeling like I'm owed something.
Maybe I'm crazy; I just think it's okay to show kindness without expecting repayment. And I wish a few more people in my life thought along those same lines, just to salvage and maintain the relationships they bring down with their demands. We all enjoy respect and appreciation from others, and frankly, those two things are usually enough for me. :)
**Upon discussing a similar topic with a couple of my ladyfriends, Charlotte's response was "You're like, the best girlfriend ever. Seriously, why don't you have a boyfriend? Actually, screw boys. I'm anti-wiener right now."
^^^Those kinds of laughs are the best kind of repayment for being a good friend -- happiness. :)
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